Author: seraphia (Page 1 of 4)

Small Business Sustainability Guidelines

Researchers proved the fact that many small businesses stay in business for less than five years from their establishment due to some reasons. In this article, I share a few tips that may guide you to avoid such an untimely close of your business.

1. Be your Time Manager

This is about time management which, as a management concept is about planning, organizing, and controlling your tasks in such a manner that you get many outputs out of less time spent. As a business owner, you are responsible for managing your time effectively. Business owners can effectively manage time if they can do the following;

  • Understanding the golden time and strategically spending such times.
  • Prepare and use activity plans well in advance.
  • You should always be focused and avoid distractions.
  • Being a human being, you should find time to rest and
  • Finally, see what works for you and strict yourself in that direction.

Remember that you are your own manager; no one will tell you what to do. Successful business owners are keenly focusing on their role in managing time.

2. Look for a great sounding board

Business management is an art that requires adequate skills and expertise. Therefore, it is advisable to have a great sounding board where you will get regular advice and professional consultations. Make sure you find a mentor who is successful in business because if you find a loser, they will likely lead you into failure. Learn from the successful ones. The losers have so many words they will lose you.

3. Know your capability

It is good to recognize your ability to run the business. Most people think they can do everything; of course not. Recognize your potential so that you can focus on your potential instead of doing everything else. Find other experts to help you implement what you think you cannot. The ideal situation to grow a business in the fastest possible timeframe is for the business owner to stick to their areas of unique ability and outsource the rest to people with the appropriate skill sets.

4. Narrow your focus and niche your expertise

If you want to be successful in business, select a market segment (market niche) that you can save to the best of your capability. According to Wikipedia, a niche market is the subset of the market on which a specific product is focused. The market niche defines the product features that satisfy specific market needs, the price range, production quality, and the demographics it is intended to target. It is also a small market segment.

5. Give yourself time to think about your business and revitalize

Researchers who studied the work character of self-employed people found that they work six hours

more a week than their salaried counterparts. It is worth noting that it is not necessarily correct that simply working longer and harder guarantees success. Instead, “work smarter” and create enough downtime to think creatively about how to grow your business.

Take home

 Running your business can deliver great rewards, but making it through the first few years can be challenging. So be careful and follow the critical business success factors.

  • Focus on becoming a great marketer of what you do instead of being a great doer.
  • It does not require talent to run successful businesses; instead, learn how to market the talent you have to win.

6 Key steps for developing a business idea

Choosing the type of business starts with getting a business idea. However, getting a business idea is not a one-time thing; it is a process that undergoes a number of steps. In other words, developing a good business idea begins with finding one. Many people wishing to start their small businesses get stuck in deciding the kind of business and the rationale for such a decision. The process to develop a business idea is a cornerstone aspect of having a successful business in place. This article provides six steps that the potential business owner has to pass to have the best business idea.

1. Ideas Generation

The first step in developing business ideas is generating some ideas from which a strong business idea is born. In this step, you should write down every idea that comes to your mind. Every time you think of an idea, do not allow it to perish, instead, jot it down. You can use a week or so to do this exercise.

You may ask yourself about the source of such ideas. In most cases, the ideas come from your daily life, the surrounding environment, the people around you, and their activities. You can also generate ideas from the challenges that your society faces. Ensure to have a whole page or more concepts before thinking of the best one.

2. Best idea determination

You need to select what you consider the best idea from your list of ideas. This step may involve a go-and-return aspect since what you may consider the best at first may end up being the least. Thus, do not destroy the other list even after you have decided and selected the best choice. It would be best to keep the other ideas as you might need to come back to them.

3. Exploring the idea

This step involves a bit of market research o make sure that you understand all the business variables related to the selected idea. You need to find out all that you can about your idea; including what the existing market offers and what you consider adding to the market; know your top competitors and what are you planning to do to outsmart your competitors.  You also need to go the extra mile and know the required resources to turn your idea into a business.

4. Cleansing the idea

From your research results in number 3 above, refine the selected idea. If the idea seems not to work, go back to the rest of the list and make a second selection. Do it this way several times as practically necessary until you make your final decision.

5. Idea testing

As part of the process, you need to test your idea against the market, competition, and availability of customers. That is to say, you will have to undertake preliminary market research on the workability of the selected best idea. In case your idea is a physical product, you may need to create a prototype product and release it to the market.

6. Identify your Market

Having tested your product or services you need to identify your market. At this step you need to decide who are your customers, their ability and readiness to pay, and how much will they be interested to pay. In other words, before launching your product, it is vital to undertake in-depth market research to determine who is seriously interested in your product or service.

9 Tips for selecting an appropriate business name

Selecting of business name sound like a simple exercise for experienced business practitioners, but for Startups may be challenging. Despite this, a business name has so much to do in making your business a success. Here are some 9 tips that can help you in selecting a proper business name.

1. Easy to spell names

Your business name is one of your sales promotion tools. Customers use a variety of ways including search engines to find a business or service. Easy-to-spell names are memorable and easy to access through search engines. Thus, keep your business name simple and easy to spell as much as you can. A simple name sticks in the eyes and brains of your potential customers.

2. Business growth potential

In selecting your business name, don’t pick a name that could be a limitation to your business growth. Select a name that has a wider meaning yet is not confusing. In other words, do not select a name that limits you to a specific product or area. You may opt for “Sports Gears Store” instead of “Balls store”. Sports gears store give you a wide ground of selling more than one sports item but Balls will limit you to only selling balls.

3. Undertake adequate name search.

To avoid back-and-forth movement with the name registration authorities for reasons that the selected name is already in use, consider undertaking a thorough internet name search before you decide. Furthermore, select a business name that will help you sell your goods or services instead of helping others. A small variation in spelling the name may lead to confusion and hence promote other people’s businesses.

 4. Consider what people say and believe

Since you will do business with people, it is worthwhile to consider what people say and believe. For instance, in selecting a domain name, it is better to consider getting a .com domain name because many people consider .com domains to represent serious business rather than the .net and .org. If you force yourself to register outside the people’s beliefs, you will be taken casually and fail your business before starting. Hence, do not belittle peoples’ perceptions.

5. Use a name that conveys some meaning

In an ideal world, you want the business name to convey something expressive and positive concerning your business. To get definitive names, you need to ask yourself if people can instantly catch what your business will be doing. The name must be appealing to your potential customers. Business names that bear some meaning facilitate the branding process and thus, avoid the use of meaningless names.

6. Conduct a country-specific search

Since you will likely want to register your business with your country’s authorities, you must follow country-specific requirements when registering your business name. In Tanzania, for instance, the Business Registration and Licencing Agency (BRELA) does not allow registering a name already registered. In the United States of America, you will need to register your business name with the Secretary of State; hence, you must search the Secretary of State’s records to make sure your name won’t be confusingly similar to a business name already registered. Suppose it is too similar to an existing name. The Secretary of State has the right to reject such a name.

7. Consider selecting catchy names

Do you want to have a boring name for your business? A name that your employees will fail to mention where they are working proudly. Do you want your customers to forget where they bought the goods or services? Certainly not. Thus, consider selecting a catchy name if you want your employees to be able to say where they work without hesitation. Make sure that your business name resonates with your target audience. Make sure the name seems fine on paper and sounds awful when said aloud. Further, if it’s said aloud, be sure that people aren’t confused as to how it’s spelled.

8. Allow opinions and feedback from friends and colleagues

Come up with a list of more than three names and then run them by friends, family members, and trusted colleagues. Allow getting opinions and feedback from your target audience as well. Assess the feedback and make your final decision out of your list.

9. Make sure you are personally happy with the name

As a business owner, you will have to live with the name for a long time, so make sure you are happy with it and believe it will resonate with your customers. Take the time to get it right from the start.

SELECTING A BUSINESS STRUCTURE: THE CASE OF SOLE PROPRIETORSHIP

Starting a business begins with developing the business idea and justifying the viability of the proposed business. Also, along with idea development, the owner needs to understand the main characteristics and pros and cons of different business legal structures. In this article, I will focus on sole proprietors being one of the business structures available for selection.

What Is Sole Proprietorship

A Sole Proprietorship comprises two words, ‘ sole’ means ‘one’ and ‘proprietorship’ means ‘ownership.’ A sole proprietorship is a business structure that allows one-person ownership. Under a sole proprietorship business structure pays tax based on personal income tax rates.

Characteristics of A Sole Proprietorship

Deciding on the appropriate business structure may be challengingps. Thus, to facilitate your decision, it is prudent to first knowing characteristics of each business structure. This article, focusses on sole proprietorship starting with knowing who is a solepropriator. A solepropriator is :-

  • A One-person ownership.
  • 100% of the profit or loss goes t the proprietor.
  • 100% of the debt or risk of default is the owner’s responsibility.
  • The business does not operate as an entity separate from the owner.
  • Computation of Tax uses individual tax rates.
  • The owner signs all business agreements in his or her name.

Business Features that Best Suit the Sole Proprietorship Structure

Not all businesses can operate on a soleproprietorship basis since that the business features do not best fit the solepropriatorship business structure. Some of the business that best fit for solepropriatorship include the following:-

  • Small businesses with low profits,
  • A Small business with low risk or financial loss possibility,
  • Small business with a customer base coming from friends, family members, and neighbors, and
  • Small businesses resulting from hobbies to business,

Those wishing to operate solepropriate businesses shoukl consider the above features in the their decision makengi process.

What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of Sole Proprietorship?

In order to facilitate your decion as to whether you should operate a sole propriatorship business, it is worth knowing the respective advantages and disadvantages as described below:-

Advantages:

  • The owner takes a 100% share of the profit
  • It is easy to start as there are no complex legal procedures.
  • Starting and operating a sole proprietorship does not involve much paperwork.
  • Being a one-man entity, there are no hierarchical procedures in operations.
  • No paperwork is required if you want to exit your business.
  • Many big companies started as sole proprietors because Business owners do not require upfront money or energy to form a business.

Disadvantages

  • There is no personal liability protection, thus, putting Individual assets at risk if the business is sued or defaulted on a debt.
  • There are no tax benefits accrued to a sole proprietor because, under a sole Proprietorship arrangement, the sole proprietor pays income and employment taxes resulting expensive tax structure.
  • There high level of informality in sole proprietorship resulting in limited business growth potential for the owners. Thus, you either change the form to formal or refrain from growing.
  • There is limited credibility leading to limited business growth since, that, most formal business operators doubt the credibility of most sole proprietors. Thus, it is rare to find a business relationship between a sole proprietor and a government agency.

Despite the above descriptions, there are some country specific requirementsw which business operators need to get in touch to. Thus, observing country specific rules and regulations is a must do task. We advise you also to visit country-specific issues to complement the guide.

Pentecost Celebrations:  My Reflection

What is Pentecost?

Pentecost is the celebration of the beginning of the New Testament, the birth of a new nation of God, a day to commemorate the coming of the Holy Spirit and things "being re-created." It is a day to celebrate the birth of the Church and the beginning of the life and mission of the early Apostolic Church. It is a celebration of all lay people in the world. 
Pentecost was celebrated on the 50th day after the Passover because it was 50 days from Egypt (Passover) to Mount Sinai (Exodus 19: 1). Thus, the festival was named the week's feast as it was celebrated seven weeks after the Jewish Passover, which marks fifty days. Pentecost is a Greek word meaning the fiftieth day after the Passover (2Ch 12: 31ff; Tob 2: 1). Thus, the Pentecost celebration completes the Mystery of the Passover by concluding the Easter season!

 Pentecost in the Jews’ Community

The Feast of Pentecost has been taking a different shape throughout history. For the Jews, it was a  wheat day/harvest day/barley day. The Jews considered Pentecost as the feast of thanksgiving to God as it was God's command to the Israelites after their deliverance from slavery in Egypt. On this day, the people had to carry various gifts. "No one shall appear before the Lord empty-handed: Every one of you shall bring a gift, according to the blessings you received from the Lord" (Deut. 16: 16-17). Since then, thanksgiving for the harvest has become a custom in many lands near the sea. People from all over came to Jerusalem to thank God for the grace and blessings of the new harvest.
 But later, the Jews used the day of Pentecost to commemorate receiving God's commandments on Mount Sinai. In all cases, Pentecost was a day of great rejoicing in the Jewish community.

 Pentecost and the Holy Spirit

The Church believes and teaches about the Holy Spirit, the Lord who gives life: from the Father and the Son. Worshiped and glorified with the Father and the Son: who spoke through the mouth of the Prophets! At the Feast of Pentecost, the Church celebrated her birthday when the Holy Spirit fell on the Apostles, and they went out to spread the Good News.

 When did Holy Spirit fall on the Apostles?

On the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit fell on the Apostles and filled them with strength and courage. They went out to the temple, where there were people of every language, family, and nation who came on pilgrimage and thanked God for their new crops. The Jews thanked God for the blessings of the new harvest as they commemorated the rebirth of their nation of Israel and the Ten Commandments from God. The apostles began to preach the gospel of the resurrection of Jesus Christ to people from various countries who heard and understood in their languages, and many people were baptized. In this celebration of Pentecost, the Church thanks God for the gift of newly baptized Christians on Passover night. We celebrate the coming of God the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Holy Trinity, who has no beginning or end. He is our comforter, sanctification, guide, and teacher.

 Gifts from The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit bestows people with various talents such as; wisdom, intelligence, counsel, strength, education, worship, and reverence for God. Other Holy Spirit gifts include; prophecy, Healing, teaching, and speaking in tongues, each according to his purpose. We must know all these gifts as gifts from God that reach us through the Holy Spirit.
Let us recognize that these gifts are gifts to serve, build and benefit one another, guided by the greatest gift of all, namely love. Thus, we are responsible for making good use of these gifts from the Holy Spirit. He gives us for the benefit of all, for if we do not make good use of them, we will be judged on the last day, as the Apostle Paul tells us through the First Corinthians (1 Cor.12: 3b-7, 12-13).

 The Sin of Blaspheming

Let us beware of the sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit by pretending that everything we have is ours. Jesus says, "Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men" (Matt. 12:31).

 When does an ordinary person receive the Holy Spirit?

With our Baptism and Confirmation, we are all filled with the Holy Spirit; we must speak only one language, the language of love for all, a language that no one can understand. Love is long-suffering, kind, not jealous, not arrogant, not rude, not always seeking its sound, not evil, but the truth (1Cor. 13:4-6). Let us allow the Holy Spirit to enter our hearts and souls and dwell with us in our families and communities. To teach us to live in love, burn our hearts and make us pure, remove all habits in harmony with the devil's tricks, burn our wickedness, and burn the spirit of revenge.

 Let Us Pray

May the Holy Spirit kindle in us a fire of love, give us the spirit of wisdom and knowledge, teach us to pray well, and bring down the gift of truth and true love. May He remove all the cripples that afflict us and bring us calamity, give us the strength to comprehend our weaknesses so that we may all be one body in Christ and see the image of God in each other by loving them as Christ commanded.

11 CHARACTERISTICS OF A SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEUR

Entrepreneurship is a common word in most societies. In this article, I would like to share enough details about entrepreneurship and through it, an entrepreneur. You will learn who is an entrepreneur, and how entrepreneurship differs from a small business operation. You will also know the basic characteristics of a successful entrepreneur.

Who is an Entrepreneur?

An entrepreneur is an individual who is ready to dare and brave enough not to be afraid of failure. Further, an entrepreneur is constantly looking for new ways to produce and bring about renewal and change in society. An entrepreneur is patient, a leader, and a relentless competitor. In addition, an entrepreneur is a person who likes to be responsible and work hard while looking at the future. Above all, an entrepreneur has the ability to change community problems into business opportunities. In other words, an entrepreneur is a creator of a need that did not exist . Is a person who is willing to take risks in order to succeed.

Are You Ready To Be An Entrepreneur?

If you want to be an entrepreneur, answer the following questions and see the answers. If your answers are yes, you are an entrepreneur, but if not, you need to reorganize yourself and look for other ways to facilitate your ambition to become an entrepreneur. Perhaps by learning entrepreneurial concepts.

questions

1. Are you prepared to work hard to achieve goals?

2. Are you ready to face and solve problems and challenges?

3. Are you familiar with the environment in which you live, and are you ready to use it and start something new?

4. Are you willing to wait a long time for the results of your efforts?

What are the Characterists of an Entrepreneur?

There are several characteristics of a successful entrepreneur. Here are eleven characteristcs which I found worthy sharing.

1. Creativity

Creativity is a must-have trait for an entrepreneur. A creative entrepreneur focuses on the community’s needs and turns them into profit-making opportunities. Creativity goes with cleverness. You will thus agree with me that all successful entrepreneurs are clever. Such entrepreneurs do not always cling to the same type of business; instead, they find new ways for new activities or new markets. So, to be successful, you need not work on a business-as-usual basis.

2.     Following Individual Passion

Following individual passion is one of the fundamental factors for business success and longevity. A business managed by a passionate entrepreneur performs better than the other one driven by an owner without passion. Passion provides what we call mental fortitude to work hard. Without passion, you miss endurance to achieve your objective sustainably. Passionate entrepreneurs see more opportunities than challenges. Following individual passion also allows the entrepreneur to work extra hours to make a difference. Following personal passion is more necessary at the beginning of any entrepreneur where more hurdles exist.

3.    Risk-Taking Ability

Another vital trait of an entrepreneur is risk-taking ability. Risk-taking is about the will to explore the unknown; otherwise, an entrepreneur can not discover anything unique. However, the approach towards risk differs from one entrepreneur to the other. Promising entrepreneurs are always ready to invest in their time and money or both.

4.      Right Source of Advice

Most people fail in business because they do not know the suitable sources of advice. All successful entrepreneurs have records of other successful entrepreneurs and their respective kinds of business. Thus, they quickly go to the list and select the proper advice source in case of need for advice. You can not expect appropriate advice from a failure. What answer would he give you if he failed? You can not expect advice on operating a saloon business from a medical practitioner.

If you need to be successful, learn to know and keep records of other successful entrepreneurs and business development service providers.

 5. Wide Business Network

An entrepreneur must have a good relationship with many business operators and, above all, the successful ones. The network should help access capital, raw materials, marketing, and the services necessary for business development. An entrepreneur who confines himself to a particular group limits himself on the channels of success, and hence, business limited growth.

6. Loves Competition

A typical business operator hates competition and considers competition a threat to the business. However, for an entrepreneur, competition is a healthy sign. The existence of competition widens the entrepreneur’s ability to think and discover new things and better products.

Many people fear starting a prominent business just because there is competition around. But, on entrepreneurial thinking, through competition, you can know your shortcomings and adjust accordingly. Thus, loving competition is amongst the traits of a successful entrepreneur.

7. Considers Failure and Disappointments Part of the Business Development Process

An entrepreneur should not be afraid of failure and disappointment. But instead, consider failure and disappointments part of the business development process. Many successful entrepreneurs have failed several times and tried again and again. In other words, failure should not stop you from achieving your dream.

 If you are an entrepreneur or want to be one, never be afraid to fail. Here are a few examples of worldwide renowned successful entrepreneurs who failed multiple times.

·         Sochiro Honda – Founder of Honda Motor Company.

·         Milton Hershey – Founder of the Hershey Compan

·         Ikutaro Kakehashi – Founder of Roland Corporation

·         Brian Chesky – Founder of AirBNB

·         David Barnett – Founder of Popsockets

·         Elon Musk – Founder of Spacex and Tesla. Inc

·         James Dyson – Founder of Dyson

·         J. K  Rowling – Founder of Harry Potter Series

8.     A LEARNING HABIT

Constant learning is an essential trait of a successful entrepreneur. If you want to be successful, you must give yourself time to read as many books, journals, and business leaflets as possible, attend seminars and workshops on entrepreneurship, and do not be ashamed to ask questions from successful entrepreneurs. The learning habit may assist you in becoming accepting even in the event of a loss.

9. NO TIME TO WASTE

One of the critical success factors today is time management. Time not correctly managed is time wasted. All successful entrepreneurs have no time to waste. They always spend extra time doing activities that add value to either existing or a new business. A successful entrepreneur is competent in doing more than one business.  

10. EMPATHY

Empathy Is the ability to understand what goes on in someone’s mind. Coined in Emotional Intelligence (EI), empathy is about people. Empathy can make a difference in how an entrepreneur becomes successful and another not. Promising entrepreneurs should know the strengths and weaknesses of their employees and customers to make them loyal to the business, which is possible if you can make your workplace light and happy. Without empathy, an entrepreneur can neither reach employees’ hearts nor the success he desires. An entrepreneur’s manners and behavior with their employees and clients are essential in developing organizational culture. Empathy is about how you discipline yourself and act to the people you serve, and it is vital because any simple misconduct may result in losing many customers.

11. PLANNING

Planning is amongst the most critical traits because it is what is required to run a show; that implies strategizing the whole game; it sums up all the resources at hand that helps you to come up with a good structure and a process that will help you figure how to reach your goals. If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail, this is an essential quality, and one should be very careful because it carries the whole process of success. So, it would help if you were a panner to be a successful entrepreneur.

CONCLUSION

Being an entrepreneur is one thing but being a successful entrepreneur is entirely another thing. The decision and powers to be successful are in you. Look at the proposed characteristics of a successful entrepreneur and make your judgment as to where you belong.

SOME IMPORTANT TIPS FOR FIXING YOUR MARRIAGE

Many people try their best to get into married lives and enjoy what they consider others enjoying. If you tell a young lady preparing for marriage how insecure marriage life is, I can bet she will hate you forever, thinking you do not wish the best for her. If you opt to counsel a young lady fighting to get out of the marriage institution that getting out of it is not the best option for her, she will again hate you throughout her lifetime. Here are some step-by-step tips to help those in married lives and those preparing to venture into it.

TIP NO. 1: MAKE A SOBER SELF EVALUATION FIRST

It is common for spouses to throw stones at their partners in all cases where the relationship was not working well. You just ask yourself how many times you attached your marriage problem to your faults? How many times did you apologize to your partner that you made a thorough evaluation and discovered that you are a reason for the trouble that your relationship is going through? How many times did say to yourself that you are going to change your behavior for the sake of protecting and or saving your marriage? You have the answers to these critical questions.

TIP NO. 2: HUMBLE YOURSELF TO GOD

 My independent advice is to make a sober evaluation of yourself before you accuse your partner. You can get the concept of creating a self-evaluation in the word of God from Luke 6:4 – 42, which says that “first remove the beam out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to cast out the mote out of your brother’s eye.”

Implementing tip number one above is not as simple as cutting an apple; it needs God’s Grace to do it with a sober mind. Remember the word of God in the Philippines 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

TIP NO. 3: LET YOUR PARTNER KNOW THAT YOU ARE COMMITTED TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE

It would help if you found an appropriate time and place to let your partner know that you are committed to saving your marriage. Let your partner know how much love and forgiveness mean to you. You need to agree with each other on the miraculous powers of prayer in the process to revolutionize your life. Remind each other that marriage comes from God. In Genesis 1: 26-27 and 2:18-24, and Ephesians 5:31, God commands man and woman to leave father and mother and become husband and wife through uniting in a one-flesh.

TIP NO. 4: AGREE TO SET ASIDE YOUR PROBLEMS

Agreeing to set aside your problems will be your breakthrough. Do not allow yourselves to talk about problems anymore. The moment you had a breakthrough, you have buried all your differences.

TIP NO. 5: BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE

One of the famous inspirational old says by Mahatma Gandhi is “Be the Change you want to see in the world.” The statement is quite applicable to your marriage life that was about to break. After you have agreed to set aside your problems, you may make a silent wish list on the Dos and Don’ts for your partner. Do not do to your partner what you would not wish done on you.

TIP NO. 6: START CONNECTING TO EACH OTHER

The ultimate goal of this process is for partners to reconnect. Use all your energy to connect back to the broken lines of your relationship. Each of you is responsible for utilizing some relationship techniques to take you to intimacy. In this way, you will fall in love again and stay in love. You must start establishing new relationship habits that will bring positive energy to your marriage. Much more, spend your time and energy doing specific relationship-building activities, and you will make irrelevant those planning to attack your marriage life. The question is, how do I do it? What is that which will keep us connected? You cannot get connected if you are not in love. It is the power of love that can make you relate. What do we do to create the feeling of getting connected? Borrow and use some ways from Mort’s 50 ways to reconnect.

TIP NO. 7: TALK TO & TOUCH EACH OTHER

There is great power in talking to each other and touching in making a sustainable connection between the couple. I have borrowed some of the Mort’s 50 ways to talk and touch list that can accompany you in this incredible journey of reconnecting and staying in love and hooked forever.

CONCLUSION

It is possible to fix a broaken marriage. Both of you have the responsibility to nurture this truth. Start loving your partner unconditionally.

Communication for a Healthy Marriage

This is a series of articles about healthy marriage. Communication is one of the essential elements in ensuring health husband and wife maintain love and intimacy. 

What is Communication?

Communication is simply the act of using words, sounds, signs, or behavior to express or transfer information from one place, person, or group to another. The process of transferring information involves three parts namely sender, message, and recipient. It can be verbal or nonverbal. Thus, there should be a person sending the message, the message itself, and a person to receive the message. In the context of married partners, the sender and receiver of information stand for a husband or wife.

This article dwells on communication between husbands and wives for which communication plays a great role in making healthy couples. 

Why Communication?

Communication is a cycle/process that involves the message, the process of sending and interpretation the message and giving feedback. Effective communication minimizes potential misunderstandings that become barriers to communication at each stage of the communication process. Researches have shown that the absence of communication among partners takes the lead of the causes of unhealthy marriages in the world. Thus, communication plays an essential role in ensuring the existence of healthy marriages in the following manner:-

  • Through communication, husband and wife maintain a meaningful emotional connection that makes them loved and feel loved.
  • Where there is communication, partners are not afraid of disagreement since the couples can respectfully agree to disagree. Partners understand that disagreement in a certain area does not mean the absence of love between them. In this way, partners resolve conflict without feeling humiliated and or degraded.
  • Partners can fall in love but remaining in love is another challenge married partners face. Effective Communication enables the husband and wife to successfully stay in love.

To make communication effective, husband and wife are expected to do the following;

Be a Good listener:  Effective listening makes your partner feels valued and understood, you can build a deeper, stronger connection between you. Do not interrupt or plan what you’re going to say next.  Try to understand the partner and answer accordingly fully.

Commit yourself to spending more time together.

Researches show that many couples spend only 20 minutes a week talking with each other on average. To change this, turn off the technology and make it a point to spend 20-30 minutes a day catching up with each other. Spending some quality time together: regularly enhances communication and makes the relationship binding. A face to face communication allows the sender and receiver of the information to also observe nonverbal cues which have the ability to send a lot more messages to the receiver. 

Be specific.

When issues arise, be precise. Generalizations like, “You do it all the time!” are not helpful as they may cause a more provocative situation.

Where necessary, express undesirable feelings positively.

Sometimes, it is normal to feel bitterness, resentment, disappointment, or disapproval. In such a situation, communicate these feelings for change to occur. However, be careful about how you express these thoughts.  

Avoid being defensive

For a marriage to succeed, both spouses must hear each other’s complaints without getting defensive.

Express positive feelings without restrictions

Most people are quick to express negative feelings than positive ones. It is vital to the health of your marriage that you uphold your spouse. Positive emotions such as gratitude, warmth, respect, admiration, and approval are like making deposits into your love account. Use the ratio of 5 to 1 for positive to negatives. If your praises exceed your grievances, your spouse will pay attention to your grievances. If your complaints exceed your compliments, your partner will dismiss your criticisms. 

Avoiding Possible Regrets from Future Actions

1. Making Smart Decisions

In the previous article, namely “Five Tips on how to Stop Regretting the past,” we have shown how we can stop regretting our past lives. In this article, we present the how aspect for preventing possible future regrets from happening. We have identified five strategies that can help you avoid possible future regrets.

To avoid feelings of regret from happening, try to make the most of your decisions by making smart decisions. Making smart decisions requires the following:-

  • Do not make rushing decisions, and allow yourself to be more self-centered where you need to be. A quick decision can often be the one we regret.
  • Try to act based on your thoughts or logic instead of following your feelings.
  • Try not to follow other people’s fascination because obsession with another person can also affect your decision-making process, causing you to make choices that you may regret.
  • Thus, take your time and focus on what you want and what will work best for you now and in the long run.
  • Be confident with your decisions. With more confidence in your choices, you too are unlikely to regret it later. Thus, stand up for what you think.

2. Take a look at the positives and lessons from your disappointments

Be confident in your choice, and you are less likely to ask them later down the line.

There are some positive aspects and lessons in your disappointments. Thus looking at the positive elements and lessons from disappointment is a strategy in fighting possible regrets in the future.
  • Despair is a pioneer to regret. When we focus our attention on something that discourages us long enough, we make it hard and make it regret. Thus, for you to live without regrets, tackle your despair right away.
  • Quick recognition of lessons learned is vital in the process of avoiding future regrets.
  • Think of the lesson as a tool that you can use to make better decisions in the future. Any disappointment can help you avoid future disappointments if you give in, which is something to be thankful for.

3. Treat the symptoms of regrets sooner rather than later

Short-term regrets are better than long-term ones. Thus, early remediation and taking action as soon as possible are essential in preventing short-term pain and becoming long-term sorrow. Treating the symptoms is better than cure as described below:-

  • You can avoid the weeks, months, and years of injury by finding a way to improve the situation you find yourself in as soon as it happens.
  • It is often easier to do things right away. If you have spoken ill of someone, true forgiveness will now do more for the relationship than that forgiveness for one month.
  • If you bought something and now you wish you could not, can you return it and get your money back? It may only be a temporary option, so do it quickly if that is the case.
  • Did you miss your best friend’s birthday party and now you feel guilty about it? Plan to see them as soon as possible and turn them into your special occasion.

Remember that “the longer your departure items, the harder it is to make them straight, and so regrets are more likely to form.”

4. Take appropriate and well-considered risks

The guilt we have for not doing something is often the one we hold for the longest. So, to avoid these types of regrets, we must take action, and this step will usually involve an emergency if it means a lot to you emotionally.  

  • Avoid the ‘What! What? ‘ In the future, be prepared to answer the what question by taking action.
  • Consider the risks carefully before taking them and ensure your safety at all times.
  • Don’t go for less than your full potential.

5. Think of the degree of influence that you have on the situation.

  • Some regrets include anything we do for ourselves, but others we have very little control over. Here is what we call the levels of influence. The following explains the situation while focussing on the level of power.
  • Maybe you relocated to find out that the new company was not in as good a condition as you thought and were given redundant six months later.  Can you know the company’s financial information? Can you predict the economic downturn that led to the company’s complete failure?

Thus, don’t take responsibility or regret something for something you were not in control of at all.

  • Take a good look at the situation, and decide if you can make a difference to avoid the pain you are feeling now. Chances are, you could not do anything.
  • Do not know how to pass on your regret and not make a new one?

Five Tips on How to Stop Regretting the Past

Regrets are a product of one’s unpleasing past life. Some people say that regrets happen when your past events keep haunting you today. Ask yourself what comes to your mind when you think about your past life. Is it regret or happy memories? If it is regret, then you have a job to do with this article. Furthermore, although we cannot completely eliminate regrets, we can find ways to live with such regrets healthy and happy.

My friend, do not allow your past negatives to have power on your today. But how do you do it? How do you manage to do without having your past moments  following you?

This article will give you tips on how to forget your lousy past moments. Furthermore, we can learn how to make better decisions to facilitate your future with no regrets.

What do we mean by Regrets?

Regret is about wishing we could do something different. Experience proved existence of regrets in the areas of friendships, at work, and relationships at some point.

It may be that you wish you hadn’t said something horrible to your spouse that has caused a significant conflict. It could also be some resentments that you have quit your job because now you can’t find a new one. Please understand that whatever you regret, there are ways to convey that feeling and ease the burden.

How can you move on from old regrets?

Proceeding from feelings of regret is not something that happens in a minute, but rather, it is a process.

Some of us may live with regrets for the rest of our lives, but there are ways to bring hope and forget about regrets.

The following tips may help you to reduce the burden of the guilt you have in your mind.

1. Be honest about damage caused by your past action

  • Please take a closer look at the results you get now and be honest about how bad it is. Perhaps the result of your action or inaction is a financial problem or a health problem, or just a buyer’s regret.
  • Instead of working on the things you regret, take a moment to think about how ‘bad’ they are, who exactly you likely offend?
  • Are these things so bad that you can’t recover from them? Right now it may seem that you have caused an insurmountable problem, but what? Is that true?
  • Is there any help you can seek or advice you can take that will provide a solution to the problem? Je! Are there steps you can take to improve or at least improve your situation?

Try to push things out of balance. Things may seem bad, but they are probably not as bad as you think.

2. Invite peace in your mind

  • Remember that you made the decisions you made at that time either for a reason or for no apparent reason.
  • It can be painful, but by revisiting your thoughts at the time, you can begin to look for ways to stop these regrets and move forward without resentment or grief.
  • You may have acted in fear, which is human! It is not fair to blame yourself for a decision you made when you were scared or to feel like you have no other choice. This is normal, and we have all been in this situation before.
  • Maybe you have made a decision based on how the other person feels. It is normal to feel resentment toward this matter, especially if the other person did not appreciate what you did for them, but it is not healthy to hold this.

Thus, it would help if you found a way to let it go and move on; otherwise, you live with those feelings every day for no reason.

3. Appreciate alternative results

  • Would it work if you were to try to reconcile with the past? What would your life look like if you did not quit your job? Would you be promoted now?
  • These questions evoke feelings of hopelessness, and they can cause us to grieve over a life we have never lived.
  • Although this emotion can be very intense, one way to move on from them is to focus on what made it happen.
  • You may not have had sexual relations with your ex, but you may have met someone new – or you may have discovered how much you want to be single.
  • Maybe things would have been different if you had not quit your job, but you left for a reason, and you are delighted now!

By focusing on the unexpected results you have achieved instead of things you did not get it for, you can start moving forward from a place of gratitude and acceptance. Try to remember that life rarely seems precise what we thought it would be – and that’s fine! Accept the consequences of your decisions and move on.

4. Make adjustments where necessary

Some of us have made choices that have negatively affected those around us, and we can carry that feeling with us at all times.

It is tiring to feel guilty about something we have said or done, and regrets can lead to other feelings, such as shame, low self-esteem, and worthlessness.

Whatever you do, you can try to fix it – or at least improve the situation – by fixing it by doing the following:

  • Own the mistakes you made and find a way to correct your errors.
  • Apologizing for your mistakes may be difficult, and you may need to let go of your pride. Still, such a difficult step will be worthwhile in the possibility of a) rebuilding your relationship and b) not having any regrets about the incident.

Once you finish your options and say sorry and try to fix things, the ball is no longer in your court hence, start welcoming a feeling of relief.

That feeling of relief, healing the wound, and doing all you can to heal can really ease the pain of regret and guilt.

5. Remove the Blames

  • Who is responsible for the actions you regret?
  • Who else has been affected by such actions?
  • If there is a particular person involved, try to fix it with them.
  • But if you are the one who is blaming you, you need to find a way to get rid of the blame and set yourself free.

That means making peace with your past decisions and acknowledging that you are the only person affected by them.

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